10 Romance Clichés That Need to Die

Ranked from simply annoying, to unhealthy, to flat-out creepy. 

1. Romeo and Juliet comparisons for star-crossed lovers

I have no disrespect to Shakespeare for Romeo and Juliet. It's a fascinating play, with a lot of obviously great lines. But it is a tragedy, not a romance. 

What I dislike is using this story as a comparison/background theme for the characters to bemoan how they can never be together because of class/emotional baggage/plot drama the author creates. Rather than tell me how this book has an epic romance that will overcome social and personal issues, it suggests to me that the author is simply inserting the bits they want to remember from high school literature classes in hopes that referencing Shakespeare or a Bronte sister will do the hard work for them. 

If your book really compares to a famous romance and you want to say so as a theme, prove that you have read that piece of literature and understand the themes. Don't let some long-dead author do all your work for you; prove to me that this is a romance worthy of the comparison. 

2. Win him over with a makeover!

This puts a woman's worth right back on her appearance, no matter what else she is capable of in the story. 

Maybe the guy started liking her for her sarcastic quips, but it's not until she shows up with a perfect blowout and strappy heels that he realizes, "wow, she's hot. Even ... dare I say ... dateable!" 

If she gets dirtied up again, the guy might make another "you're not like the other girls" sort of backhanded compliment to show that he loved her All Along, which puts down those women who do like to dress up and get treated to a day at the salon. 

3. Can women really "have it all?"

Once women started reaching positions of power (which are still few and far between, mind), movies began to appear where a businesswoman suddenly realizes that she has been neglecting romance! Time to fix that! Enter a really hot man, either new to the business or an underling she never cared about before. 

The problem comes later in the story, when she realizes it's because of her intelligence or ruthless work ethic. She pulls back on these to have a boyfriend--or possibly gives up her job for romance. Note that a male character would never have to tone it back or wonder if he's single because he's being a nasty shrew, let alone sacrifice his job so he can have a girlfriend. 

Don't force your female characters to sacrifice who they are and what they've worked for just so they can get a boyfriend! This unhealthy trope that suggests romance is more important than self-improvement or success, which is already fed to women often enough. 

4. "Oh, [name,] you're not like 'other girls.'" 

What is wrong with other girls? 

I understand that authors want to make their heroine stand out to the hero/love interest. There's a reason these two catch each other's eye.

But it is toxic to claim that all the other girls in the story are vapid, self-obsessed, or "slutty." It creates a stereotype against women that, unless they are the protagonist, they are unintelligent, uninteresting (to him), and/or have loose morals. It also suggests that the man is subtly putting down all these other girls for not dating him or for not making more of an effort to surround him with Manic Pixie Dream Girls. 

Fix this by having your love interest focus on what makes her special as a person, not on what other girls or women lack. She doesn't have to be anything but herself to stand out. You can also fix this by fleshing out the story with other women who are well-rounded, believable characters rather than one-note stereotypes. 

5. "She's so cute when she's mad!" 

Another gross cliché is when a female character is angry or riled up about something. Not that the guy cares; he zones out of her rant to consider how "cute" she is when she's mad. 

This diminishes and infantilizes your female characters. It shows that their feelings are not worth serious consideration, and that if they're mad or concerned about something, it's probably not that important. After all, women are just hysterical beings, right? It'll blow over after some hot romance. 

It also shows something about your male characters: that they can't actually take their love interest seriously. Remind me again how they're going to work out in the long term? 

6. The Interrupting Kiss

We've all seen it: the girl is ranting, either angry or scared. She's expressing her feelings. And so the hero, who we know can't handle Feelings™, grabs her and plants a kiss on her mouth. 

It's not romantic. It's trying to shut her up. Either he's turned on by her "cuteness" and that female-talking-thing is distracting to the mood; or he is done listening to her feelings and wants to get back to him. Both show that he actually has no interest in her if it's not about him. 

You know what is romantic? Him listening to her, and not focusing on her body. Emotional depth and actual trust in one another builds a healthy relationship with a strong foundation. 

7. Miscommunication or lying as plot device

Miscommunication for comedy is fantastic. Comedy requires surprise and the unexpected to be effective, and miscommunication for comedy's sake generally incorporates that. 

Miscommunication for drama, however, is massively predictable, especially in romances. 

Especially this tired scenario: the hero and heroine have fallen in love. Someone disapproves of the relationship, and creates a rift--possibly by framing the heroine or spilling her secret. The hero breaks off the relationship without allowing for an explanation. The heroine leaves in tears. And then, after learning the truth secondhand, the hero catches her at the airport before they are separated forever, and they reconcile just in time for a Big Damn Kiss...! Aww, it's a perfect photo op...

It's not just clichéd; it makes the audience question why this relationship will work out in the end. They can't be honest with one another. No, they don't need to share all their secrets at once, but generally emotional connection is vital in a long-lived, healthy relationship. Before the big finale when all the truth comes out, let your characters talk to each other and confide in each other.

8. Cheating because they've found "The One"

If you’re going to have one half of your romantic pair already engaged, and they’re going to cheat with the protagonist because it’s True Love, you really need to question why they are with their partner in the first place.

Openly antagonistic people shouldn't have attracted your love interest in the first place. Otherwise, that says something bad about their character: that they are oblivious, that they are willing to put up with anything for how someone looks, or that they're complicit in the bad things their partner did.

If the fiancé(e) is a good person, why did a new face turn the romantic interest's head from a healthy and faithful relationship so fast? This still shows that they're shallow, or easily bored. I’d be wary of them if they left their own partner so easily.

Worse, a vital component of this trope is miscommunication for romantic drama. Lying and hiding things from each other does not persuade me to believe in their romance. If they hide really important things from each other (e.g. “Oh, but I never loved her! Dad just wanted me to marry her! I really love you!”) because it’s “awkward,” what are they going to do about money problems? Or pregnancy, infertility, family planning? Cheating?

(And I would bet money that without a drastic personality shift, that love interest would realistically cheat again. Because they get bored or because their HEA has unforeseen flaws. (Hello Princes from Into the Woods!) They did it once, what stops them doing it again?)

Unless the author really figures out why they're going to make it work beyond looks and just being "better" than the other person, their characters' marriage doesn't look like a long-lived one, my friends.

There are better obstacles to a romance than "Oh no! They're already engaged to this shallow mean person!" See what else you can throw in your characters' path besides such a lazy cliché.

9. Overprotectiveness

Some authors, especially in action or danger-oriented novels, want to create a character who looks out for their partner's welfare. All the time. To the point that the love interest can't drive their own car (for safety reasons), or use a personal phone (same), or talk to their friends. 

This is not romantic; this is controlling. These are early signs that a relationship may turn abusive. Unless this is the point of your story, stop pretending that dictating all behaviors (whether coming from a man or a woman) is cute or protective. 

Another sign of overprotectiveness comes in the form of "for your own good." One character, believing he or she is dangerous or has dangerous knowledge, pushes away their love interest. (Likely so they can have more time brooding alone.) 

Let your hero/heroine treat their friends and love interest as human beings who can make their own decisions. If it's really that dangerous, let them decide for themselves what risks they want to take. And if they know the risks and are willing to go anyway, aren't those the kind of people you want to take on your dangerous mission? 

10. Persistence disguised as romance

Characters trying to force their presence on another person who has already expressed their disinterest aren't romantic; they're used car salesmen. Again, this damages belief in your romance. Did they actually fall in love, or did one party just get tired and as soon as they have the chance, they're going to flee? 

This also veers into Creep territory. If a guy can't take no for an answer, what other boundaries might he disrespect? If a girl demands more and more from you, when do you think she'll stop? 

Is this element a vital part of your plot? Get rid of it.
If your characters just won't get together believably otherwise, take a good look at them. What can you do to improve this chemistry? Add similar core beliefs, similar love languages, etc. to make sure that they're not just butting heads over everything. If that doesn't work out after all, maybe these characters (as they are) just weren't meant to be. 

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What romance tropes are you tired of seeing in fiction?